I live in California, where the prices of homes five years ago was way above the assessed value and people routinely had buyers with fat checkbooks knocking down their door to get into homes. Unfortunately, I had just moved to Los Angeles, and I needed a place to live. Going with the conventional wisdom of buying is better than renting, I bought property.

I knew I couldn’t afford the place I ended up with. But, they gave me the mortgage so maybe they knew something I didn’t. My house was overpriced and my mortgage was way too pricey and not a good deal at that. I had little equity and no more coming anytime soon. Then, my wife and I had our second daughter and my wife left her job to stay home. We lost her full-time salary and were heading up-creek further without a paddle. We were literally sitting on collapsing furniture with home space heaters at our feet because we couldn’t afford to repair anything when it broke.

As was bound to happen, the housing market and economy collapsed. Our home devalued quickly but our mortgage payments did not. Now, not only could we not afford the home, we couldn’t sell it at a profit and barely sell it at a loss. We went through a bankruptcy to get rid of our debt and decided that to free ourselves up from all financial burdens, we would sell the home through a short sale if we could.

Today we rent and are on the path to recovery. We did learn many lessons and had I to do it all again, I would do it very different.

If I could do it again, I would get into an income property so that I could have a tenant cover the mortgage. I would get into a home that needed some work and touch it up with some home decor accents and maybe a touch of paint on the walls. Certainly, I would buy something not only in my price range but below it. And I would definitely get a mortgage that built equity and whose terms were logical and sensible.

I wouldn’t want to do this again and have to worry about covering mortgage monthly without the income to do it. I would own something with obvious value and not sell until it was a truly decent resale property regardless of the economy.

Since you may owe more than your house is currently worth, you’re looking at a big judgment against you. And, in many states, deficiency judgments are good for twenty years which means that the bank’s going to make your life miserable for a long time – taking money from your bank accounts, grabbing income tax refunds, and dipping into assets that you might accumulate.

What should you do? Either hire a lawyer, or file an answer yourself. (a ‘hardship letter’ isn’t the same as an ‘answer’!) In answering a complaint, many lawyers ‘admit that the borrower (you) own the property, but deny all other allegations of the complaint’. In their answer, lawyers also typically raise certain defenses, such as, since the original note has been lost, and the plaintiff (the company suing you) doesn’t have a complete copy of the original note, the plaintiff cannot maintain the foreclosure action.

For adjustable rate mortgages that have interest-only payment periods, and/or the option of making a variety of payments such as a minimum payment, interest only, or interest and principal, and/or have a prepayment penalty, many lawyers say in their answer that the loan violated state unfair and deceptive trade practices laws because the originating lender didn’t explain to the borrower that negative amortization and payment shock would result from the structure of the loan.

Those same lawyers will also file a written request for the court to refer the case to mediation. The advantage of mediation is that you get an opportunity to sit down with a representative from the lender who has the authority to settle the case without a foreclosure. Before going to mediation, you should know exactly which solutions are available to you. Do your homework. To find the best solution for you, make sure you research all of the options.